How Samuel. L. Jackson Died on Mars

Prolouge
After the perfection of Space travel in the late 21st century the leaders of earth started deporting their "undesirable" criminals to Mars with enough water to last a week, a magazine of batteries and a laser pistol. Most of the initial criminals meet a cruel demise at their own hand, but after a large dispatch of criminals left all of their supplies, stock piles started to build, making the desolate planet remotely liveable.

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The ever-present pink stirred over the barren red wasteland than man once called the final frontier , for samuel it was more like hell. Once apon a time, men dreamed of venturing to mars, nowadays it was the last of your wishes. Samuel had not seen another human in several cycles of the sun, even when he did they were usually deranged, insane or both. Most of his encounters usually ended in Sam emptying a few bursts into their skull. Sam had high hopes of someday returning to earth, who wouldn't if they had survived at least 50 cycles on the harsh surface of the red planet. In his short time on earth Samuel was a bounty hunter, the lowest of the criminal underworld to some, 'You can never trust a bounty hunter' was a phrase often muttered in sam's presence, they were right though, for the right price, Samuel would backstab his grandmother, That was why he was stuck in the desolate land of the damned. The whoosh of landing engines cascaded over sam's head, it could only mean one thing, "Fresh meat" muttered Sam as a sly smile painted his intentions over his face. As the whir of hydraulic landing gear came closer, Samuel secured himself cover behind a rock, resting his weapon to the natural ark of the rock. The mechanical drop pod clunked onto the solid rock surface of the red planet, the metal behemoth hissed as the landing door's opened and three convicts stumbled out, still adjusting to the change in atmosphere, atop their backs, bags full of equipment essential to living on mars. Sam left nothing to chance, as soon as the doors closed on the pod he fired three charges with his laser, each one hitting and killing its target. "Like shooting fish in a barrel" Samuel whispered to himself, gently mocking the recently deceased. Samuel wasted as little time as possible, once that shuttle was off the ground Sam was off like a bullet, vaulting himself out of his cover and in a bee-line for the loot. No matter how long he was on mars, he would never forget the satisfaction of easy money. Samuel emptied the backpacks out on the ground, raising dust as he went, and assessed the contents. "One, two, three, four…" He counted, something you had to do if you'd been on mars for as long as Sam had. "fifteen water bottles and thirty batteries," Samuel explained to himself, satisfied.

Sam started gathering the objects when a burst of static broke the science of the planet, ferocious scratching sounds followed. The sounds were emitting from one of the discarded back-packs. Sam immediately searched the pack, producing a standard issue, earth grade communication device. He instinctively pressed the red 'TALK' button and spoke into the device "Errr… Hello?" More static then, five seconds later, a screech, like that of an eagle's except with an odd, almost beautiful tinge, erupted from the device. It stuck a chord with Samuel, he wanted to get up and walk away but his leg's didn't respond. He was paralysed, all he could do was sit and watch the horrible fate that would befall him. The ground shop beneath his feet, each second the shaking got more violent, until holes started popping in the surface of the planet, Blood red talons clawed their way from the abyss to the surface until several gargantuan figures stood before Samuel. They rode on all fours like extraterrestrial gorillas, their features were chiseled, stone-like and decorated with light red marking's swirling around their bodies They ran on all fours towards Sam, he wanted to move, to run or fire a couple laser rounds into these space demons at the very least, but he couldn't, the cry had him anchored to his place. The demon's were closer now, he could feel the air move as the talons swiped at the air around him. One of the talon's found its mark, Samuel's brain was flooded with information, he knew exactly what these things were and what they were doing here. Unfortunately, he couldn't put any of this information to good use in the short time he had left. "Magic" was the last word to leave his lips before his blood was spread across the planets surface.

"Mr Write? Mr Write?" the words echoed through the man's brain, activating bits and bobs as it passed by. "Errrgh" the man made a noise as he pulled his head wearily from the desk.
"Oh good, you're awake, we have an appointment at three, I suggest you get ready before then," a voice spoke to him, his vision faded in, revealing a brunette standing in front of him, she had a hand on his shoulder, he couldn't fee; it but he could see it was there.
"Appointment? What?" he clumsily stammered out
"You mean you don't remember? We have a meeting with a man on the surface, something about an alien missile or something." The brunette twittered in response.
"Ok, what? Maybe i should start with something simpler. Who am I, who are you and where am i?" Asked the man, still completely dumbfounded even though he obviously knew this person. The brunette sighed "What the hell were you drinking last night?" Before the man could respond the brunette started talking again, "Your name is Apollo Write, I am Mykayla Colliner, we work together as-" Mykayla's speech was cut short by Apollo frantically clicking his fingers "As detectives for the Interspacial Detective Agency, Infact we're the only employees, because it's my company" Apollo finished the speech and clicked his fingers twice more, sitting up in his chair "Memory Is a great thing!" Apollo looked down at his clothes, they were quite respectable for someone who was apparently smashed enough to forget his name, not appointment respectable but still. "What the hell was i drinking?" Apollo asked
"Judging but your bin over there, Pepsi" Mykayla answered, quick on her reply as always
"Great, i passed out on pepsi, I'm such a party boy" Apollo pretended to spin a clacker in his right hand "Wooooo"
"Okay then Mr Write, I'l let you get changed, but remember we need to be there by three"
"Got it" replied Apollo, "Oh, and Mykayla?"
"Yes Mr Write?"
"How many times have i told you not to call me Mr Write? Just call me Apollo, I'm only like 2 months older than you, and it sounds like you're saying Mr Right"
"But… isn't that your name?"
"No, my name is Mr Write, not Mr Right"
"But, its the same"
"No, it sounds like you're saying Mr- Oh never mind, just call me Apollo" Apollo stammered out
"Okay, Apollo" Mykayla replied before walking out the room.
"What the hell just happened?" Apollo asked himself, he shook his head and got on with getting changed. Apollo kept a spare suit in his office, he was often passing out the night before important events, after about the 5th time he figured out it was easier just to keep a suit in his office. Apollo took of his shirt and sprayed himself with deodorant, the best substitute for a shower. It hadn't been long since he started up the IDA, he started it almost as soon as he left Uni, then employed Mykayla a month later, they'd both done the same uni course and Apollo had heard through the grape vine that she'd been having trouble getting work and Apollo needed some help with the whole marketing thing.They hadn't gotten much work, the only time they'd actually set Earth was to investigate who was siphoning fuel from the space depot, turns out there was a leak and it was just flowing out into space but that's another story altogether. Apollo finished getting changed, tied his tie, something that hadn't gotten easier in the 23rd century, he combed his hair into a neat mess and walked out onto the office floor. it wasn't very big, and they shared it with another company, some sort of 'Serenity Inc' or something like that, Apollo never payed that much attention to it, besides they were all usually in their offices so he didn't need to know. "Nice suit" Said a voice from behind him, it was unmistakably Mykayla's
"Well you don't look to bad yourself" Apollo said as he spun around "Are we going to get to this appointment?"
"Well, i suppose we best get going shouldn't we? You have your car here right?"
"Yeah, Don't you want to take yours?"
"I don't like taking it to the surface"
"That's right, you sky dwellers these days, what would happen if the mag strips went down?"
"And this is why i call you Mister…"
"Cheeky Bugger, Come on then" Apollo said as he gestured to the lift.


The year is 2307, 9 years after the incident on Mars. This age is an age of peace, after ending the 20 year long galactic war 15 years prior. Most cities have move into the air, kept floating by a balance of earth's gravity and super magnets embedded in the earth's crust, very few people still live on the surface due to most of it being decimated during the war. Apollo Write is a detective, specialising in the field of space mysteries, he is about to embark on an adventure that will change his life.

Apollo parked his car on the pristine suburban driveway, it looked out of place in the street, but then again so did the rest of the house. It was more or less clean and not vandalised, thats more than could be said for the rest of the street, they were in the back half of Scotland, if you're wondering what half the back half of scotland is, its the one that wasn't completely destroyed by the Nova bombs. Scotland was a good 3 hour drive on the mag strips from Valkaria, which was floating somewhere in the middle of the indian ocean, where the IDA is situated.

Apollo got out of the car, taking in deep breaths as he did so, the air was thicker on the surface, thicker and fresher, despite the slight antimatter radiation smell, coasting down from the other half. Apollo loved it on the surface, he even lived there for a short time, before the nova bombs started dropping. He shook his head 'No time to be thinking about that now Apollo,' he thought to himself. Mykayla got out of the car,
"It's warm down here," She immediately pointed out
"Thanks Captain Obvious" Apollo retorted, sharper than he was previously
"Shut up…" Mykayla snapped
"Okay, geez, no need to get harsh with me"
"I'm sorry, its just… I don't like it down here, bad memories" Mykayla apologised, a lot of people felt this way about the surface, the nova bombings themselves were enough to put anyone off going on the surface for a long time, there was nothing left, like it just sucked away a huge crater, everyone lost someone, some more than others. Apollo said nothing, he just nodded and headed towards the door, jacket whipping up violently as he moved. Apollo knocked three times on the door and waited, no one came, he knocked again, louder this time, still no answer "Maybe he's gone out?" Mykayla suggested
"Possible but not likely" Apollo explained "There's nothing for miles around here, and judging by the condition of this paving, nothing's been on it for a while"
"Okaaaaaay then, so what are we going to do now?" Mykayla questioned, fiddling with her hair like an impatient schoolgirl. Apollo took a few steps back, to get a better look at the house. It was very clearly an old design, it was surprising it had survived for so long. There was wooden decking out the front, real wood too, covered by a small outcropping. The actual house was a baby blue in colour, well, a faded baby blue, two stories high, seven windows, four on the bottom and three on the top and one of the lights was on 'One of the lights are on!' Thought Apollo, suddenly having a great idea. "You are going to climb up on that roof, veranda, thing and tell me what you can see through that middle window" Apollo replied, belatedly
"Apollo" Mykayla said, irritated "I don't know if you've realised but i'm wearing a skirt." Apollo looked down at her skirt then back to Mykayla "I can see that, how does that affect your ability to climb up there?" He asked, pointing to the veranda. Mykayla sighed "People will see up my skirt," Apollo looked around, the neighbouring houses were completely empty, no signs of life at all, almost post apocalyptic. Apollo was about to make a smart ass comment when he was shot down, "Oh shut up and give me a boost up" Mykayla agreed, predicting Apollo's comment.

Apollo boosted Mykayla up on to the top of the veranda, he stepped and immediately had to resist the urge to wolf whistle her, knowing it would only be met with a string of curse words, that you wouldn't repeat to your grandmother, he thought better of it not to. Instead he called out "What can you see?"
"A window" Mykayla shouted back down "Also, turn around, it's awkward having you face that way" Apollo cursed under his breath in annoyance as he turned, knowing it was the only way to please her, even if he wasn't looking that way in the first place. Mykayla inched forward on all fours, getting closer to the glass, she could see a vague silhouette in the dim light, but something was there, definitely. "I can see a shadow" Mykayla shouted backwards
"That's great, What does it look like?" Apollo yelled from behind, though it was slightly less loud than last time, like he was turned around. "I can't really tell, Its frosted glass" Mykayla called back. She pulled herself closer to the glass, squinting to try and make sense of the shapes, "There's two shadows" she started to recite what she was seeing "and one of them's moving!"
"Great, now we kn-"
"Shhhh, I'm trying to focus!" Mykayla hushed Apollo and got back to the window "Both of the shadows look human, one of them has no arms though" Mykayla wasn't too surprised by this, there were a lot of casualties in the war, arms weren't exceptions. "The other one seems to be talking, it's waving it's arms around and stuff, it's holding something, it looks a bit like a gu-" Mykayla gasped as a green light flooded the window, "Apollo! We need to get in there, now!"

Mykayla gave way to one of her legs, causing her to slide down the roof at quite a speed. Apollo was still turned around, and that was probably lucky of him. Mykayla flew off the roof, planting her foot square in the middle of Apollo's back, like a ninja, except less deliberate. They both fell into a heap on the pavement, "Ow" called Apollo, his voice muffled by the pavement. Mykayla pulled herself up, her fall cushioned by Apollo, and then went about helping Apollo up "Are you okay?" she asked.
"Yeah, i'm fine, i think something's bruised though"
"So, you'll be fine?"
"Yes, I'l be fine"
"Great!" Mykayla affirmed to herself, no longer feeling sorry for Apollo "Now, About getting into that house?"
"I've got this" Apollo exclaimed, pulling a credit card from his wallet with a swish, 'It's an old lock, so this trick should work,' he thought t himself, though doubting it again almost immediately after, as did Mykayla, who was quite verbal about her doubt, "You aren't seriously doing this, tell me you aren't, helllloooo? Apollo?" Apollo had blocked her out, needing to focus for this to work. He took the card and inserted it into the space between the door and the frame, he pushed down on the lock and the door buckled. A small smirk spread across Apollo's face, he brought the card up and pushed it down more, the door buckled more ferociously 'One more time' thought Apollo, his faith returning in the manoeuvre, the brought the card down one final time and… his card fell through the gap, taking Apollo's faith with it.
He kicked the door in frustration, the screws on the locks popped lose and fell to the floor. Apollo phased back into reality and shot a sly smile to Mykayla, "Total fluke, don't take that as a victory over me" she retorted

Apollo pulled the locks from the door and pushed it open, stepping into a hall. The walls were lime green in colour, they were adorned with photos of children and old people, probably family photos. There was a pure white cabinet to the left, filled with souvenirs and various other knick-knacks. The only thing out of the ordinary with the house was the numerous weaponry mounted to the walls and in the cabinet, most of them were guns, various plasma pistols and rifles, but there were some swords and shock sticks too. "Talk about retro" Mykayla whispered to Apollo
"No kidding" Apollo whispered back, "Wait- Can you hear that?" Apollo moved his ear to the entrance to the actual house, nothing, silence "Huh, Maybe i was just imagining thin-"
"Can you hear that men?!" An old voice rang out from upstairs "Of course you didn't, but i have battle hearing! I could hear a cricket sneaking over the border"
"What's that," Mykayla asked, not expecting a real answer
"I don't know, it sounds like a really bad war movie" Apollo answered back, Mykayla giggled, covering her mouth with her hand, as not to alert the man above. "Hear that men! Alien language" the voice responded to Mykayla's giggle, Apollo shot a half stare half smile at Mykayla before turning back to the entranceway "Okay men, on the count of three, we drop down and flank them!" the voice snapped, it sounded authoritative. Mykayla comprehended the meaning of this and alerted Apollo "Apollo, we should move," Mykayla warned, prodding Apollo as she did so
"Why's that?" Apollo asked. Mykayla didn't need to answer that, the pistol pointed at Apollo's head did most of the explaining.

"Ummm, Hi?" Apollo blubbered out, like one does when faced with a gun, and a partially nuclear one at that.
"The Aliens speak human tongue, interesting" the old man chattered back to his men, who were nowhere in sight, Mykayla pushed forward, past Apollo, the gun tracking her as she went, "We aren't aliens, we're detectives, you called us the other day." Mykayla explained. The man paused for a second, raking his brain for something to jog his memory, before holstering his weapon and extending a hand to Mykayla "Stand down men!, Sorry about that, precautions and all, the war has us on edge. I'm Captain Eugenie Darrun" Eugenie apologised profusely, Mykayla took his hand, "Mykayla Colliner, and this is my partner,"
"Apollo Write, P.I." Apollo introduced himself, shaking Eugenie's hand "Mykayla tells me you're concerned about the sky falling"
"He means a suspicious falling object, don't you Apollo?" Mykayla corrected
"Oh yes, falling object,do excuse my slip of the tongue"
"Ah, yes, the oddity on the radar!" Eugenie exclaimed "Follow me" Eugenie led the duo through the doorway, he was an interesting man. He was short, five foot at the most, he looked almost 90 but could still drop down a story without much trouble, he was dressed in an old set of fatigues, several patches on it's upper left sleeve.

"So, what exactly is this place?" Asked Mykayla, having worked out that the man saw things differently to the both of them "This is the 524th battalion, stationed on Mars, we're on of the first lines of defence if our solar system gets attacked, other than the Jupiter Space Station, obviously" Eugenie explained
"The 524th battalion? Didn't that dis-" Mykayla was interrupted by Apollo's hand over her mouth
"This man's obviously delirious, if you tell him this isn't real, you could do more harm than good." Apollo hissed into Mykayla's ear. Mykayla contemplated for a minute, like she was actually considering making the man with the gun even more delusional than he already is, before deciding against it. Eugenie led them through his house, it was almost as confusing as him, there was more artillery on the walls than half of the army has, most of it baffled Apollo, it was hard enough for anyone to get a stun-gun, let alone a real gun, and an abundance at that

They were led down stairs into a small grey room that was covered, wall to wall, in old technology. Radars, radios, laser communication relays, you name it, he had it. No phones though. Eugenie hit 3 buttons on a keyboard and the room lit up, it whirred and buzzed with electronic machinery, making various other sounds as they booted up, "It takes a while to warm up!" Eugenie yelled over the ruckus, Apollo wasn't paying attention, he was too busy being concerned about all the possible massive explosion this room could cause, most of the machines in the room had been taken off the market, and removed from the military, due to their tendencies to explode, they killed more people than they saved. The computers stopped whirring and Apollo's blood pressure returned to relatively normal levels, 'Ah it's up!" Eugenie called to the pair, beckoning them over. Apollo navigated his way over the mass of cords to Eugenie and the monitor with Mykayla following close behind. "Watch this screen" Eugenie instructed, pointing to the biggest screen in the room. A 3D representation of a rock like object falling through the sky flashed up on the screen and Apollo brushed it off 'Just another crazy old man' he thought 'Coming all the way here, getting mykayla on the roof, breaking into an old man's house, all for this, a rock…'
"Is this really it?" Mykayla piped up "All this for an asteroid?"
"But it isn't an asteroid!" Eugenie protested, pointing out a small reading on the screen "It's not dense enough to be an asteroid!" Apollo looked up at the screen with intent, he felt like there may actually be something to this, the bonkers man may have something. "And look at this!" Eugenie continued "The flight, it's erratic, not natural, meaning it's-"
"It's piloted" Apollo continued
"Exactly!" Apollo paused for a second, resting his head on his hands.
"I'l need to go through this further, analysation and the like, do you have a portable copy of this data?" Apollo asked, trying to appeal to Eugenie's militaristic character, without going to overboard. "Yes Sir, it'll only take a minute" Eugenie pulled a i'd off a spindle and threw it into the machine. Apollo pulled a face 'Discs?' he thought 'I'm going to have to find a disc drive somewhere' Apollo mentally groaned, already dreading the task.

The grey monolith biped and spat out the disc, Eugenie loaded it into a cover and handed it over to Apollo "Thanks for making us aware of this Captain, expect some sort of raise or something of the like" Apollo thanked Eugenie, scattering through his brain for as many military terminology's as he knew. "Oh, thank you for coming, we haven't had much contact with HQ for a while"
"Yeah, thats because of the problems with the PhlargleFlerp" Apollo lied, hoping this old man would let it slide
"Huh? What's that?" He didn't
"TOP SECRET" Mykayla interrupted, grabbing Apollo by the arm and pulling him back through the house.

After they we're safely outside she stopped "SERIOUSLY?! What was that?!" Mykayla shouted at Apollo
"I think you dislocated wrist!" Apollo shouted back, trying to change the subject
"A PhlargleFlerp? What the hell is that?"
"I'm going to need to see a doctor"
"You almost blew out cover!" Mykayla protested "And your wrist is fine, my grip isn't that strong"
"Fine, Yes, I was stupid, you're right, you saved the day and we got our lead. Can we get home now? I need to ice my everything" Apollo conceded.
"Yes, Please do, but you might want to go get your card back first"
"Dammit, I knew i forgot something"